"I Ran Out"

I was addicted to ice cream when I was pregnant. I ate old fashioned vanilla bean ice cream every night before bed.

Now that our baby has arrived I still have this craving (which I can no longer blame on pregnancy). Therefore, I have diligently changed to eating 'vanilla frozen yogurt' instead... trying to be better... Eating it has become my personal moment I take for myself at night. Just me and my dessert in the few minutes we have before bed.

My husband made a joke earlier this week as I was complaining about the taste difference. He made an analogy between our relationship to my vanilla ice cream craving. He said he felt like before parenthood we were like 'old fashioned vanilla bean ice cream' and now days we are more like 'frozen yogurt'. I laughed... but had to think long and hard about what he meant without getting my feelings hurt. I came to the conclusion he was talking about how we used to indulge in each other and now days we have to be a bit more responsible with our decisions putting the baby above ourselves at the moment.

Let's be honest, the beginning days / weeks or months of first time parenthood can take a toll on a relationship. Yes, there is now a huge bond between the two of you having created a human life linked of both bloodlines. This definitely gives you both a different kind of closeness, but then there is also a slight emotional strain on your connection. Personally, we find ourselves passing each other in the hallway with a tired 'hello' - or leaving the house with a quick 'luv ya babe' - or sending a text message during the day that just says 'thinking 'bout ya'. It's hard enough to have an adult conversation about anything else other than your babies bowel movements for the day, yet it is even more difficult to think of ways to be romantic.

When we were dating and our first year of marriage I can honestly say I felt so spoiled with romantic gestures. Everything from random flowers, love notes and surprise trips. The effort seemed so simple at the time for both of us. People would always tell me 'Don't worry that will change after marriage and kids" but I could never believe them.
Now jokingly, I said to my husband last week "remember how you used to leave me love notes on post it notes every morning on our bathroom mirror?" "I wonder what happened to that part of us?" I very nicely asked. We both laughed as he so simply said
"I ran out of post its"


It was then I realized we need to get back to our old fashioned vanilla bean ice cream thinking days ~ and to start... I need to give up some of my own personal things, such as this addiction to 'dessert time' that selfishly takes quiet moments away from us at night.

I still have this huge giant brand new bucket of frozen yogurt in the freezer."What will I do with it now that I have decided to make my effort? Throw the dessert away?" Definitely NOT...I've decided I too can wait till 'I run out' before I give it all up.

But as soon as I run out, I promise to start changing my cravings to rediscovering the little romantic elements incorporated into our relationship everyday. That way we can hopefully make a start to indulge in each other again instead of things like 'dessert time'.

It's amazing how much something as little as a post it note can do to reconnect your feelings. I've added it to my shopping list this month!