It's interesting when I look back over the years and how I have handled rejection. Rejection from a job or a boyfriend or many other aspects of my life that have come and gone. There is a new kind of rejection I have felt after becoming a mother. I have felt this on two occasions already and have a feeling there is plenty more to come down the road...
The first time I felt rejection from my newborn was at six weeks old when he decided for me that he would prefer to eat from the bottle. I was not ready for this and no matter how hard I tried, he made it very clear he was just 'done' with me. It took me a few days to get over my sadness and mourn those precious moments of mealtime, but I got over it and have moved on... I had to come to the conclusion that I did the best I could and I needed to take his direction. Therefore, I moved on to pumping all day to give him what he needed.
At this point in his development I am witnessing a new form of mommy rejection. My son loves his dad so much. He prefers to look at him and smile at him. He gets so excited by just the sound of his voice. I realize that these small moments are normal and nothing to be upset by - yet it still doesn't mean that we don't get a twinge of sadness when our baby is more excited to see their dad then their mom. I have chalked this up to the fact that I am the primary caregiver and he gets 'enough' of me all day long. When his dad gets home it's 'playtime' and he couldn't be more excited! I am convinced he stores up all his enormous smiles until he hears that deep dad voice. As much as I think it is adorable that he is in love with his daddy, I still can't help but feel slightly hurt -as silly as it sounds! I have a feeling this is only the beginning, therefore I need to just get over it and be glad he is so happy at these moments. On top of it all, I think it gives my husband reassurance to know that he doesn't have to see him all day to know that his child loves and needs him more than anything! The feeling of rejection is worth that alone!
The first time I felt rejection from my newborn was at six weeks old when he decided for me that he would prefer to eat from the bottle. I was not ready for this and no matter how hard I tried, he made it very clear he was just 'done' with me. It took me a few days to get over my sadness and mourn those precious moments of mealtime, but I got over it and have moved on... I had to come to the conclusion that I did the best I could and I needed to take his direction. Therefore, I moved on to pumping all day to give him what he needed.
At this point in his development I am witnessing a new form of mommy rejection. My son loves his dad so much. He prefers to look at him and smile at him. He gets so excited by just the sound of his voice. I realize that these small moments are normal and nothing to be upset by - yet it still doesn't mean that we don't get a twinge of sadness when our baby is more excited to see their dad then their mom. I have chalked this up to the fact that I am the primary caregiver and he gets 'enough' of me all day long. When his dad gets home it's 'playtime' and he couldn't be more excited! I am convinced he stores up all his enormous smiles until he hears that deep dad voice. As much as I think it is adorable that he is in love with his daddy, I still can't help but feel slightly hurt -as silly as it sounds! I have a feeling this is only the beginning, therefore I need to just get over it and be glad he is so happy at these moments. On top of it all, I think it gives my husband reassurance to know that he doesn't have to see him all day to know that his child loves and needs him more than anything! The feeling of rejection is worth that alone!
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Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! I have a question about your blog. HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com
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